No big deal at all!

Lately, discouraging things have been weighing on me. For the first time in my life, I’m struggling to pay bills and living paycheck to paycheck. Supporting my adult children with disabilities has been far more costly than I ever anticipated, especially with Angel being homeless due to his mental health struggles and Marie’s recent surgery requiring me to take time off work to help. On top of that, I am trying to lose weight, but it is a challenge. My hair is thin and gray, my make-up less face feels less than attractive, and my car’s transmission is failing. I just did our taxes and instead of getting money back, we owe almost $3,000. Worries keep me up at night, leaving me exhausted and irritable, something I do not enjoy feeling.

I need to SNAP OUT OF IT and start setting some serious boundaries, no more being an ATM for others! It is perfectly fine to say no, and my financial survival needs to take priority. Gone are the days of sharing my cash like I’m some sort of benevolent money fairy.

Take Marie, for example. She is a pro at the “Hey Mom, can you send me $25 so I can eat out with my friends?” routine. Sorry…the Bank of Mom is officially closed for withdrawals! From now on, she can get her nutrition the same way I do, by rummaging through whatever’s in her fridge. If there is nothing in it, there are plenty of food banks she could visit.

Besides, the real benefit of eating out is socializing, and last I checked, friendship isn’t dependent on a three-course meal. She can still join her friends and sip on a budget-friendly cup of hot chocolate with a donut.

I hereby declare that it is not my responsibility if one of my grown-up children finds themselves running on fumes. Gas is expensive, times are tough, and if they want to keep their wheels rolling, they need to factor fuel costs into their travels. Case in point: Today, Marie called me in distress because a hit-and-run driver decided to hit her car and take off, and she does not have the money to fix it. Well, guess what? Neither do I! The “Mom’s Emergency Fund for Everyone Else’s Problems” is officially tapped out.

I also need to start small on my weight loss journey and getting exercise, like taking a daily stroll around the block. Better yet, I could sing and skip around the block! That would be much more fun… if only my bladder would cooperate. Without worrying about ALL carbohydrates, I could stop eating some of them that seem to cling to my waistline, such as bread and French fries.

Maybe I could throw on a little makeup and curl my hair. It might not perform any actual miracles, but at least I would feel like I made an effort. The best part would be that it is free because makeup and a curling iron are already in my arsenal.

I could watch America’s Funniest Videos. I generally steer away from this program because of the seemingly stupid theatrics that are performed, but, I have to admit, it DOES make me laugh. To enhance the experience, I could light a lovely, scented candle from Bath & Body Works. Nothing says self-care like watching people wipe out while being surrounded by the calming aroma of “Warm Vanilla Sugar” or “Eucalyptus Stress Relief.” A little laughter, a little aromatherapy—next thing you know, I might just trick myself into being in a good mood!

I would then be ready to face my troubles head on. Bills? Car troubles? Grown children with empty gas tanks? Unattractive? Overweight? No big deal. No big deal at all!